source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/25006559@N07/
i used to hate the rain. i mean what’s there to like? it’s wet, messy and unpredictable. i’ve had many rainy memories and experiences. some are funny while others are nothing out of your ordinary hatin’-the-rain-feelin’.
whenever it poured from the sky, i would be all sour inside, though it doesn’t show through much. well, can’t help that i have a super ability to hide my feelings well. on second thought, do i? anyway, yeah i would be all ‘why does it have to rain today? i thought we’re going to the zoo and see the monkeys !’ now, tell me which kid would’ve liked her trip cancelled huh? i was that kiddo. i wasn’t the type of kid who’d go out there and run wild and naked in the rain, get drenched and fall sick the next day. though in retrospective, i wish i was that kinda kid. but then again, it’s just my nature. that i’m just not the sort of person who does things impulsively. i’m just not. in fact, i’m very much the opposite.
of my many trickling wet memories, one is of me and my lil’ sis drenched from head to toe, lookin’ a lil’ psycho, standing by the road with our school bags soaked and our uniform being see-through. i could still remember back then, we were more hot than cold. our faces were burning red, partially because of the embarrassment and also cause our dad was running late. very late. well, that lasted only for a moment for we let out a loud laugh shortly after. she was lookin’ monkey-ish with water dripping off her wet fringe (not that monkeys have fringe !) and i bet i didn’t look any better. it is moments like this which makes me feel all mushy inside. i know, i know, i’m emo. it is because of her and many many more people and memories here which made me feel as though leaving will be a very difficult task. as though i’ll really be leaving for good. leaving. more on this in another post, aite? for now, let’s get back to some more rainy stories.
and then there’s the song…
‘rain, rain, go away…come again another day’
i’m familiar with that line, i don’t know about you. probably cause’ my dad used to sing it whenever it rained and i’d stare outside at the porch with a sour face. lookin’ like a prune. and i’ll sing along all out of tune of course! when i was younger, i felt all things seemed dull and all people looked gloomy whenever it rained. it still seemed like it is now. at least, to me. i guess you could say my mood changes according to the weather. when it’s all hot and sunny, i tend to be a lil’ more short-tempered, i think. so, that was many, many years back.
fast forward 10 years and you get the missfiona who’s love for the rain is growing slowly, but surely. i used to hear comments like ‘i like the rain’ in a very kiddy tone. yeah, it kinda resonated throughout my life these few years as i start to comprehend why exactly ‘this-love-for-the-rain’ thingy, seeing it in a new light. with rain comes emotion. that is for me. i guess it’s the sound of rain falling and the smell of rain touching the ground. i guess it’s the whole rainy atmosphere which tends to keep me wondering, thinking and dreaming. reminiscing too.
as i watched people in raincoats, girls and guys in umbrellas, and cars zoomed past the puddle of water, something came across my mind. that no matter rain or shine, life still goes on. that irregardless of whatever occurrences which impacted your life, time waits for none. and we can live forever and dwell in our pasts, but in reality life really does move on. and as more people passed by sheltering their heads with cardboards and newspapers, i can only be thankful to my parents and what i have now in my life and the people who’s with me. and as i stared into space, occasionally tucking my hair behind my ears and wiping off the droplets of water on my thighs, it dawned on me that many a times i took things for granted. not only things. people, relationships and life on the whole. i tend to do this a lot. though i remind myself each time these days to express my gratitude whenever i felt so. why keep it to yourself ? most of the time, many of us don’t feel the need to take time out to share, to love and to just plain express ourselves. too much emotions bottled up. that’s no good you know. that could be the reason why our whole world is such a mess now and i won’t deny the fact that the contents of this bottle would soon explode. not very soon. but it will, someday.
it’s the rain that caused this. on any normal, bright sunny day, it wouldn’t have crossed my mind. probably because i’ve experienced sudden losses in life. and when she went away, rain came pouring down as well. i guess whenever it rained, it reminded me of her. her absence, to me i find is still fresh, too new to be forgotten like how we do about our yesteryears. whenever she was around, i didn’t take much notice nor cared either. i guess it’s true what they say; we’ll only realise the true value of a person when they’re gone. till this day, i find it hard to accept that life is really that fragile. in a way, her absence reminded me subtly that we’d all be gone someday. it’s what we do now that counts. to everyone i care, i have to say this though it sounds cheesy. it actually depends on what your mood is while reading this. i love you and i truly believe that for every lonely soul out there, there will be another lonely soul to meet. it’s just that you’ve not crossed paths. and i have to say this too, only time will tell.
gloomy skies, dark clouds, thunderstorms, wet ground, moths and leeches. whenever i see you again, i’ll love you more this time around. just please don’t come that often, i wouldn’t want to be this emo all year round.
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