What Matters To Me
i don’t know what to write about but i still feel like writing something. i’m feeling that slight laziness now. however, i cannot be lazy! laziness they say is the one sickness without cure. i think i’m just feeling stressed out. somehow, i don’t know why. gahhh, someone, loosen me up or entertain me! exhaleeeeeee. i think it’s one of those days. where you just feel like blah!
-it doesn’t matter anyway-
i am back home now, enjoying my break. also re-discovering certain things. that kuantan is extremely hot and humid but who’s to blame? quite annoyed by the non existence of wireless connection at home. but i’m glad i’m home to be with my family after quite a period of time. here i am, blogging from the new computer at home and as i was going through my old files, i thought i should post up some since i don’t have them with me in my laptop. obviously they are pictures of me and only me. some sort of fiona-volution from age 1 till 18. haha. cos i always always wondered and asked my mum how she thought i would look like when i’m 16 or 18. now i know.
LOL. okay, maybe not just me.
at just one month of age. even as a little baby girl, i have a very big squarish head! haha.
i don’t seem to mind though. err not a very cute baby but still fairly adorable right?
only 4 months of age and as proven even when i was very much younger, i look serious. i am a serious looking baby! woot hahaha. and mum said i was always very quiet and never complained much at all. still quite me i guess.
yays. 1 year old now. i still have that towel! and i am not posing for the camera! just caught in action.
wow. i just realised as i grow older my cake is shrinking. LOL.
i didn’t have enough time to scan the remaining 9873290 pictures, so let’s fast forward 15 years later and this is me at 16 years of age putting power outage *is that the correct term* to good use. haha.
same age. putting after study time and before bedtime to full use. LMAO just because i got a new phone with built in camera i took like tonnes of pic even in pajamas.
and then there’s a phase where i only smiled with teeth showing in pictures. seriously i just realized this. so many ‘phases’. and then now i can’t smile like this anymore. it’s not the same!
until i realised hmm maybe i want to look more demure and ‘neutral’. so i revert back to old me. and got stuck with that till today.
in 2008 i had a lot of act cool moments
i also love sleeping and taking photos of myself a lot more that time and this is one of them. and the only makeup i knew how to put on was eyeliner. black eyeliner all over and that’s it.
because i look so cheery and young.
and then i had too much free time and decided that i would cut my hair short cos i thought it would be a good change. but then it turned out to be a disaster! and my hair grew in all directions after that. no more straight nice hair. my mum didn’t like that at all.
about a few months later, hair grew to this length and shape.
then i had fringe for a while because i thought i would look nice with it. well, maybe not.
then i decided i was gonna get rid of my fringe and then before i left for the states, i cut my hair leaving it hanging slightly below shoulder length and rebonded.
said hair as of dec 08
and then somewhere in feb 09 my fringe grew longer after a long wait. fringe look less retarded.
hair still about the same length and fringe is pinned up cos it’s really annoying me. had more time in hands rather than cramming for spm, so youtube videos helped me learn how to put on makeup which i enjoy doing now. discovered that makeup is so cheap in US so i bought my very own first mascara there. HAHA.
yay, my fringe was much longer and i can do more things to my hair. haha.
noobie, first time curling my hair. my family all think that straight looks nicer. but my friends seem to like it hahaha. oh well, guess my skills are not there yet.
somewhere around end of june, nothing much just longer in length. i miss my nails!
july, the day we left america :( saddddd still can smile though hahaha.
august 2009, somehow i look much older LOL
sept 09, haha looks innocent without makeup-lazy!
so, there you have it my so-called evolution. thank goodness i don’t look like a boy now! LOL
my utmost apologies for having abandoned this for quite some time. i guess i needed time to sort out other stuff and everytime i wanted to update, something else came up and there it goes again. futile attempt. argh, pisses me to quite a degree as i really wanted to blog about so many things at that time. i wonder if i can still recall what i wanted to blog about. precisely that very moment. it’s not the same, once the moment is gone, the feeling and mood is different and therefore i don’t feel like writing about it already. sigh. such is the life.
but, fret not. i shall think of new fresh topics! hehe. *thinking*
these few weeks, i’ve been relatively occupied with college, events and activities. also my travelling home in between sort of took up some of my time. though it’s not that faraway, travelling is still travelling. can’t do that much to make my time spent in the car productive seeing that my motion sickness thingy is still quite there. stubborn.
my previous trip home, i went to the temple, one which i’ve never visited and took quite a few shots.
the dragons are so colourful and the whole ambience was like…
i like how cute they look.
source of fire for joss sticks.
the way up the temple. real steep!
feli and i. hehe so cute.
mummy and daddy. love you guys.
one of the days when i was back home, mum brought us out for lunch and just to spend some time together since i don’t live with them any longer. i really appreciate them doing things, anything really for me now.
at johnny’s having some thai noodle with feli and mummy* happy*
secret recipe’s chocolate indulgence, yummy but still not quite there somehow.
us at secret recipe. b/w photos are classic!
playing with smile shutter at home while watching feli bounce around with her new exercise ball.
most of the days, i surfed the net for recipes to try out and to my surprise and everyone else’s the dishes all came out brilliant which was why my sis and i decided to host daddy’s 50th birthday party. we volunteered to cook and invited about 18 people to celebrate. mum was almost certain we couldn’t pull it off and was very reluctant about having the gathering but we persuaded her. plus, our relatives were all very excited and anxious to try out my dishes. newly aquired skills, haha.
so, there goes, we planned the menu which we thought would be a change of taste and appetising for all. we included mango sorbet for dessert and also went to secret recipe and purchased chocolate indulgence! feli wanted nothing else except for chocolate and my dad didn’t mind a bit, so there you have it.
the cake looks so pretty here.
family photo. we should have more!
three cup chicken, a dish which originated in taiwan.
my dad’s fav gung po chicken.
thai coconut chicken a.k.a tom kha gai. love the flavour and texture. very aromatic and appetising!
marmite pork! pork, pork, pork! that’s what they literally said, haha.
hakka asam pork. the most attacked dish of the night!
chinese herbal tea eggs that we simmered for like 10 hours.
honey lemon grass chicken. we invented this recipe haha.
steam tofu with ground pork and dried shrimp
refreshing mango sorbet with sweet mango toppings!
daddy and i on the couch. i like this picture, so sweet hehe.
i think for the most part of it, this post is quite done. my memory is kinda failing me and if there’s more, updates are sure to come. stay tuned!
toodles
"A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson--
sorry for not updating in a while. i promise i’ll be back very soon cos right now i’m soaking up all the homey-ness i can and also because i don’t have wireless connection at home i can’t go online and post that often. i have a few posts to blog about. anyway, fasting month is here already-can’t believe time flies by so quickly and to those who are having their holidays, have fun and enjoy your break!
i’ll see ya’ll soon.
those were the days
i don’t really have a clue as to why i tend to replay words she said or even at that matter words many people said over and over again until it annoys me so that i have to put this down in writing. perhaps by putting them down into a solid form-words, they can somehow be left alone or at least i hope.i can always revisit them at a later time if i wish to.
she said very casually with much conviction, “children, do you realise what we want to do is always not what we are doing?” i am bugged by what she had to say the other day because it’s so uncommonly true. and that we always chase after happiness. why can’t we just be? just exist? instead of looking forward to something we may never achieve or even if we do, just a temporary state? it might sound depressing but isn’t that how it all is? somehow i blurted that it’s human nature to seek, look forward to progression, to which she replied “are you sure, is it so? or is it how you have been conditioned to be?” and we all stared blankly into her face. she had a smile on her face. and she does this every other day. we all love it. she knows we do.
i shall not digress. it is true. despite centuries, life is still the same. people still go on and on about happiness, the future and the ‘overly-rated’-life. oh and death. to which i think it’s true that we all born to mourn for ourselves.
“why then can the caged bird still sing?”. i saw the other day at the bookstore a book titled “i know why the caged bird sings”. i was tempted to buy it at the same time surprised that it should be presented to me at such an opportune moment. just as we were done studying that particular poem.
i walked out of the place without that book. maybe at the back of my head, i want to answer it myself. “why then can the caged bird still sing”. hold that thought and i will come back.
i want to wrap myself into an endless curve, seal myself into a bubble and just sink in there for a moment. looking at this, i can already be there. which is why i love photos.
-when you want to be, just be. when you want it, just get it. chase what you want to chase and be content with yourself. and a wise friend once said,”what’s the difference, at the end of the day, we all put on our trouser one leg at a time”. unless of course you’re a weirdo. -
*laughs*
life in the city can be one grey blob of headache but a scene like this could bring you far, far away and just ease everything into a puddle, cool puddle of water. far, far away. ahhh, i long to be.
i got this pair of girly pink dangly earring with a bead attached at the top because i realised i din’t have any pink or red earring to add to my collection. well, so called collection that is.
this pair is vintage looking yet relatively neutral to be paired with a black top or whites maybe even neutrals. it can even be worn with a cardigan or more formal attire to achieve that ‘bold’ look when everything else is dull/plain.
this pair caught my eyes instantly and i knew i had to get it. the colour is so striking and unique that i hardly find this shade anywhere else. love it. i mean i didn’t get it immediately of course, you know me. but i decided it’s worth it since they are all reasonably priced.
grilled lamb with rosemary, steamed fresh brocolli and sweet carrot. great dinner.
scrambled egg with salt and pepper added with long beans and crabstick.
stir fried chicken with soy sauce and brocolli
spaghetti with onion and garlic sauce, chicken with pepper and terriyaki sauce plus brocolli
eggs with japanese green beans(nicer texture compared to long beans) and crabsticks
delicious tender pork chop marinated with korean bbq sauce, salt and pepper, stir fried on low heat
have you ever noticed how they all looked lifeless and dull, never flashing a smile when it’s raining? i wonder why. somewhere along my travelling, as i splashed my way down the road, i smiled. i flew as lightly as a bird. perhaps i realized that even if we were the birds in the cage, we can still sing. let it rain, let it be. the breeze swept softly across my face and i was blissful. epiphanies emerge at the weirdest moments. i was happy in my own little bubble, maybe just a dream. as i was nearing, haphazard thoughts flashed by in my mind and i couldn’t seem to address them accordingly. i think it’s the rain. but this time, i smiled.
No lapse of time or distance of place can lessen the friendship of those who are truly persuaded of each other’s worth.
When you are ready to talk to them about anything, even though they know everything about you already, then you know you’ve found your best friend.
True friendship is sitting together in silence and feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
I cannot say if I feel the same way any longer if the feeling is not reciprocal.
And my only wish upon this shooting star is that your heart be happy.
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