To Self

Words. Think about them. Words are so intricate, flows when spoken yet when halted can possess the strength to kill, put out light in one’s soul, shatter hopes and break relationships. Sure, people say I love you all the time. Do we really mean it?

Words communicate and as much as I’m comfortable with the world of words and although I’ve seen how it is abandoned, thrown and taken back I think I have a slight problem with it. Somehow I tend to wrap my emotions behind layers of vague meaning words and my inability to be truly clear and direct about how I feel exactly and what I actually mean shows through clearly. I use to think that the world doesn’t understand me. Pfft. What an immature thought!

The world doesn’t need to understand me. Why should it? I don’t even understand it to begin with. Life, love, death. These are the grandieurs in life I am just beginning to really perceive. You think you know it, but really you don’t. Why? Because we’re only human. There are so many values that one should possess but no one is perfect. I hope as each day passes, I’ll develop the strength to keep them as my own. My new year resolution! I’ve never made them for a few years now but 2011 shall be different. Fiona, please don’t be overly ambitious and set unrealistic goals to only make yourself feel worse later. Okay, get set go!!!

1. Pray everyday for general wellbeing and happiness around the world. It doesn’t matter if you can’t bring peace to the world , as long as your prayers go out to torn souls. That’s more than enough.
2. Practise self discipline and do not procrastinate! What’s so difficult with getting it done now. Means now!
3. Be happy with yourself and appreciate your family and friends for their still presence, cold criticisms, grandma stories, undwindling love, unwavering support and inspirations.
4. Maintain weight at 50kg and not more. Less than 50kg is another story. So let’s just try this.
5. Get a part time job that not only rewards me monetarily but also gives me personal satisfaction; ie: tutoring kids! And must attempt to ask about hospital voluntary attachment.
6. Keep room tidy and help parents at shop as much as possible.
7. Eat healthier; less oil and less carb! Jog at least once per week. Ask about yoga lessons.
8. Must must must be sure of your coming 4-5 years by mid 2011. Can you just friggin decide???
9. Be more hardworking and do more good deeds!
10. Thank god for all you have and plan for yourself each month :)


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Miss Fiona

January 2011
« Dec   Mar »


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